Do you remember how it felt the first time you drank alcohol with a group of friends, away from the watchful eyes of your parents or other adults? Do you remember the excitement, the heady sense of liberation, the wonderful sense of light-headedness and warmth, the way that everything suddenly seemed so hysterically funny? Do you remember how your worries about your acne and your exams seemed to melt away? Do you remember revelling in the sudden loss of your inhibition and shyness? Do you remember how grown up you felt - as though alcohol was the passport to the alluring land of adulthood?
Perhaps this means nothing to you - perhaps you have never touched alcohol in your life - but you have been a teenager and you will recognise that trying things out is part of growing up. Virtually all teenagers are drawn to what they perceive as the exciting freedoms of adulthood, and alcohol, which so many adults seem to drink so freely, draws them like moths to a flame.
Take the case of Hannah. Hannah first experienced serious drinking at a sixteenth birthday party. She had drunk before - small amounts of wine at family meals - but this was the first time that there was no stern-faced adult telling her that one glass was enough. She was drinking cider and quickly became very tipsy, screaming with laughter at her friends' jokes and dancing uninhibitedly with various boys. Normally a shy girl, Hannah gloried in her new-found courage and vivaciousness. When one of the boys started kissing her, Hannah felt as if she had finally 'arrived' - at last, she too would have something to tell her friends at school on Monday. When Hannah's father collected her from the party, he immediately recognised what had happened and was furious, threatening to 'ground' Hannah indefinitely. Hannah hardly heard his ranting - all she knew was that she had found a way to escape the boredom of her daily life - a way to lose her dull, shy self and become, just for a while, a woman of the world.
Hannah's story is commonplace. As young people grow up, they begin to spend an increasing amount of time with their friends and correspondingly less time at home. They go to friends' houses, they go to parties, they go into town, they go to recreation areas. As such, there are ever increasing opportunities for them to drink alcohol because there is no adult present to stop them. By age 13, more than 50% of young people drink - for 15 and 16 year olds, the figure is 90%, and 40% admit to binge drinking - drinking to the point of significant intoxication. Young people will tend to drink as cheaply as possible so cider, lager and Alco pops are favourites. It is illegal for under 18s to drink alcohol on licensed premises or to buy alcohol but teenagers are resourceful and easily find ways around this - cajoling older friends or siblings to buy it on their behalf, stealing from parents' drinks cabinets or simply posing as older than they really are - the average 14 year old girl often has little trouble making herself look 18.
So what does alcohol do and what are the risks faced by young people drinking alcohol?
Alcohol is a drug - something we tend to overlook because its social acceptability has given it a much friendlier face. It works on the body by depressing the central nervous system - that is to say, by interfering with the functioning of the brain. Essentially, alcohol is an anaesthetic - as levels in the blood stream rise, the brain gradually falls asleep. High level skills are the first to be lost - logic, reasoning and fine motor skills, followed by control over behaviour and speech. Ultimately, if a person continues to drink, consciousness is lost - at this point there is danger of death caused by choking on vomit. The human body has remarkable powers of recovery but it is sobering to note that it takes at least two hours to break down just one unit of alcohol.
All the evidence points to young people drinking significantly more and starting to drink significantly younger than was the case a generation ago. Tolerance to alcohol builds over time but young people are particularly vulnerable to its effects and, because of their inexperience, are likely to be poor judges of how drunk they are. Teenagers need far less alcohol than an adult to get a similar effect and, when intoxicated, are more likely to engage in risky or violent behaviour. In addition, there is some evidence to suggest that even moderate drinking can cause long-term damage to the growing brain.
Being drunk makes a young person very vulnerable. Poor decision making skills can leave them at risk of, amongst other things, unsafe or unwanted sex. Reduced self-control can result in behaviour which harms relationships or in behaviour which is aggressive or violent - how often do we read in the papers about drunken teenagers in police cells following a spate of vandalism? Lowered levels of awareness leaves them at risk of accidents. The worst case scenario, of course, is the risk of choking to death if the young person loses consciousness and there is nobody present who realises the danger.
This is frightening stuff. What on earth can a parent do? You may well feel quite helpless. You may feel that your teenager's friends have far more influence than you do. But the fact is that this is simply not true. Your values do still impact on your child whatever his or her age so, first and foremost, have confidence and then try some of the following:
Try to 'connect' with your teenager. Take an interest in the little details of their lives so you know who their friends are, which teachers they like and don't like, what their worries are etc. When children are small, their lives are almost an extension of our own and we know every little detail - somehow as they get older we begin to lose that connection. It is well worth the effort of trying to re-establish a connection, even if our teens at first seem to resist it.
Talk about alcohol from an early stage. Let your children know what you think and what your values are. Show that you understand the attraction and the power of peer pressure - give them tips on how to say 'no' to friends (there are some excellent websites that can help with this). Talk about the dangers and the risks. Explain about drink spiking and teach them how to put an unconscious person into the recovery position.
Encourage self-esteem in your teenager. Let your son or daughter know that he or she is a strong individual, capable of making their own decisions and capable of standing up for themselves. Let them know that you love them and that you will always be there for them. Make your teenager's friends welcome in your home. Allow other adults to help - sometimes teenagers find it easier to talk to someone outside the family.
Think about the example that you are setting. If you regularly drink heavily or drink and then drive a car, you can hardly blame your teens for following suit. However, there is some evidence to suggest that allowing young people to drink in moderation at home with their parents can offer some protection. If it is normal within the family to have, say, a glass of wine with a meal at the weekend, this may help to reduce the mystique of alcohol and consequently, its fascination.
If your teenager comes home drunk, keep calm and postpone discussion - there is no point talking about this when they are drunk and you are incoherent with rage. Choose a good time to talk, when you have both recovered, and then begin by asking questions. Ask them what they think and how they feel - make a point of listening to what they have to say. When it's your turn to speak, try to avoid nagging, preaching or moralising - simply say how you feel and what your fears are. One good idea is to ask your son or daughter what advice they would give to a younger sibling. Don't forget to tell them that you are having this discussion because you care and because you want the best for them.
Be realistic and be prepared to compromise. Take the case of Neil. For some time Neil's parents had been aware that Neil was drinking at parties and they decided to sit down and talk it through with him. They began by listening. Neil explained how he felt under pressure from his friends to 'be a man' and drink beer. He also said that he enjoyed the taste of beer but that he never wanted more than a pint because he didn't want to have a headache the next day. Neil's parents spoke next, explaining their fear that he might be pressured into excessive drinking and thereby put himself at risk of accidents or unsafe sex. Next, the three of them brainstormed ideas on how they might satisfactorily resolve the situation. Between them, they agreed an action plan - Neil would have a drink of beer with his Sunday lunch at home and on special occasions. At parties, he would accept a can of beer and appear to be drinking it but in reality he would pour most of it away when he went to the toilet. The situation would be reviewed in three months time.
Don't protect your teenager from the consequences of heavy drinking - let them mop up their own vomit and don't lie for them if they are too hung over to go to school the next day. Teenagers learn fast if they have to live with the consequences of their behaviour.
Teenage drinking is a subject which should be taken seriously. Having said that, the great majority of teenagers survive this period in their lives and very few go on to become serious alcoholics. Experimenting and taking risks is a totally normal part of adolescence. Have confidence in your ability to parent your teenager and keep talking and listening with them to maintain your connection.