Curfew!

[jiffers]

My 15yo son has recently fallen into a new group of friends, who are apparently allowed to stay out later than he is. We have had various rows over an appropriate curfew - he wants to roll in in the early hours of the morning but I think 11 0'clock is more than late enough. Am I just getting old or should I be putting my foot down over this one? Anybody else's experiences/thoughts would be much appreciated!

[Camomile]

Hi Jiffers, i had the same problem with my 15 year old daughter. She used to make me feel really guilty when i tried to impose a curfew of 11pm saying she was embarrassed in front of her friends for having to come home so early. She never stuck to the curfew either so it seemed pointless imposing one. She used to get really ratty in the mornings because she was so tired. Her school work started to suffer. In the end we reached a compromise where she would come home at 10pm weekdays and 1130pm at weekends. Good luck!

[sukey]

What is this with the eleven o clock curfew? Fifteen is still very young. Am I totally alone in expecting my fifteen year old not only to be in by ten but more importantly actually in bed by then. I sometimes wonder if too many parents are prepared to give up easily cos the battle is too hard. We are the guardians of their safety and well being and I think its important to hold on to the fact that they are not yet adults in any sense of the word!

[DaisyChain]

Well said, Sukey. I agree!

[Offshore]

Are you sure, DaisyChain? I find that taking a softly softly approach works much better - although I do agree with Sukey that we are the adults and (supposedly) know what's best for them.

[Al Pal]

I'm with Sukey on this one mainly because if I'm not in bed by 10pm I'm as ratty as hell in the morning and I refuse to stay up waiting for a moody teenager to come home.

[DevilsAdvocate]

I must be one of those liberal parents you read about, because as long as his work is not affected, staying out late doesn't bother me too much.

[purplecoolkate]

my 15 year old daughter has never needed much sleep, even as a toddler she never had daytime naps like everyone else's kids. There is no way I could make her go to bed at 10.00 p.m - she wouldn't go to sleep and would just be texting her mates anyway. We do expect her in by 10.0 during the week and 11.30 at weekends and this seems to work so far. We are beginning to have an issue with her friends turning up at our house quite late though and need to think about how best to deal with it. I know it's her home too but we're usually in bed by 11.3 - 12.00 and I'm not comfortable with other teenagers in the house after we've gone to bed unless it's pre-arranged. Any tips on how to eject them without causing offence?